Slipping Away, back into yesterday;
big hair, big hearts, the dream then falls apart.
Slipping Away. Back into Yesterday.
regret and pain for love once lost in vain.
Slipping. A way back, into yesterday.
what dreams become shattered by morning sun.
Remember this, Today is where we find our bliss.
Prompted word was “Remember”
Requester was Julie Wasowski
Request method was Mass Mosaic and Facebook.
Author is Sean Prunka
No copyrights. This poem was released into the public domain by the author.
Author notes: Oof, this one is a bit sloppy. I was going for a pentameter with a blend of trochaic and iambic, but I think it fell apart a bit. and the final line is a hexameter.
“Remember” is a reflective and evocative poem that explores themes of nostalgia, loss, and the importance of living in the present. The poem consists of four stanzas, with the first three stanzas each containing two lines and the final stanza containing a single line. While the poem’s meter is intended to be a blend of trochaic and iambic pentameter, there is some inconsistency in the execution, as noted by the author.
The poem utilizes repetition with the phrase “Slipping Away” and variations of “Back into Yesterday” to create a sense of longing for the past and the memories associated with it. The images of “big hair, big hearts” and “the dream then falls apart” effectively evoke the nostalgia for a time gone by, while also acknowledging the eventual dissolution of past dreams.
The poem goes on to explore the themes of regret and pain, as well as the fleeting nature of dreams that are “shattered by the morning sun.” These lines convey the bittersweet nature of reminiscing about the past, highlighting the often-painful emotions associated with lost love and unfulfilled dreams.
The final line of the poem, “Today is where we find our bliss,” serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of living in the present moment and finding joy in the here and now. This line effectively shifts the focus from the past to the present, providing a sense of resolution and hopefulness.
In terms of critique, the poem’s meter could benefit from further refinement to create a more consistent and polished piece. The author’s intention to blend trochaic and iambic pentameter is an interesting concept, but the execution is somewhat uneven. Adjusting the meter and experimenting with line breaks could help to create a more cohesive and engaging poem.
Additionally, the poem’s structure could be more clearly defined, perhaps by adding line breaks between stanzas or utilizing consistent punctuation to guide the reader through the poem.
In conclusion, “Remember” is a reflective and evocative poem that effectively explores themes of nostalgia, loss, and the importance of living in the present moment. With some revisions to the meter and structure, the poem could offer an even more engaging and thought-provoking reading experience.